If you or your spouse fall into negative patterns in the way you relate to one another, you are not just in a rut, you are hurting one another and your marriage.You can't compromise or negotiate these behaviors away. You can't rationalize the behaviors as this is "just the way I am."In order to save your marriage, these harmful behaviors must stop.Emotionally and/or Physically Abusing Your Spouse
This should be a no-brainer, but you may think your control over your spouse's daily life or your negative responses to your spouse is okay. It isn't. The day will come when your spouse will say "enough is enough" and your marriage will be over. If you are abusive in any way towards your spouse and children, seek counseling right away.
You may think that the way you treat or talk to your spouse is normal, when in reality it is abusive.
Here are questions to ask yourself to determine if you are abusive towards your spouse and children.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: varies
Here's How:
Is your spouse afraid of you?
Have you ever threatened to kill your spouse?
Do you believe that your way is the only way?
Have you ever hit, slapped, pushed, pulled hair, or choked your spouse?
Are you the jealous type?
Do you believe you have the right to know what your spouse is doing and where your spouse is all the time?
Do you think of yourself as in charge?
Do you enjoy seeing your spouse in pain, crying or hurt?
Do you believe your spouse deserves to be hit or yelled at or punished?
Do you believe your spouse 'asked for it'?
Do you break or destroy your spouse's belongings on purpose?
Have you ever been arrested for violent behavior?
Do you think you have an anger problem?
Are you afraid of asking for help because you might lose everything that is important to you?
Has your spouse ever tried to leave you?
Tips:
If you answered yes to several of these questions, please see a counselor.
Saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough. It is important that you take responsibility for your abusive behavior.
Don't expect your spouse to forgive and forget quickly. It takes time to rebuild trust once it has been broken.
What You Need:
Honest Self Appraisal
Willingness to Seek Help
Ability to Let Go of Controlling Your Spouse
Understanding of Why You Are Abusive
This should be a no-brainer, but you may think your control over your spouse's daily life or your negative responses to your spouse is okay. It isn't. The day will come when your spouse will say "enough is enough" and your marriage will be over. If you are abusive in any way towards your spouse and children, seek counseling right away.
You may think that the way you treat or talk to your spouse is normal, when in reality it is abusive.
Here are questions to ask yourself to determine if you are abusive towards your spouse and children.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: varies
Here's How:
Is your spouse afraid of you?
Have you ever threatened to kill your spouse?
Do you believe that your way is the only way?
Have you ever hit, slapped, pushed, pulled hair, or choked your spouse?
Are you the jealous type?
Do you believe you have the right to know what your spouse is doing and where your spouse is all the time?
Do you think of yourself as in charge?
Do you enjoy seeing your spouse in pain, crying or hurt?
Do you believe your spouse deserves to be hit or yelled at or punished?
Do you believe your spouse 'asked for it'?
Do you break or destroy your spouse's belongings on purpose?
Have you ever been arrested for violent behavior?
Do you think you have an anger problem?
Are you afraid of asking for help because you might lose everything that is important to you?
Has your spouse ever tried to leave you?
Tips:
If you answered yes to several of these questions, please see a counselor.
Saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough. It is important that you take responsibility for your abusive behavior.
Don't expect your spouse to forgive and forget quickly. It takes time to rebuild trust once it has been broken.
What You Need:
Honest Self Appraisal
Willingness to Seek Help
Ability to Let Go of Controlling Your Spouse
Understanding of Why You Are Abusive
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